Tuesday, 6 October 2015

The proud Father

Delhi to Bangalore journey - Rajdhani express
In a compartment with 2 policemen and 1 engineer
One policeman starts talking - brags about his heroics-criticises the government and his seniors- loads of wrath-I was texting- he grabs my phone and tells me "Stop recording"- I told him wasn't- Then on he started reversing his statements and utters praises about his seniors.
The other policeman - A little older and soft spoken- calls home- hands over the phone to me - asks me to converse in English with his young children - phone in speaker mode- As I was talking to his kids , there was an ecstasy on the man's face- one of a proud father brimming with joy hearing his kids talk fluently in English to a stranger- He spends a good amount of his salary to send his kids to a good school.
Sometimes we don't even know the little things about us that makes our parents happy . I am sure all our parents have such moments . Love em

Love thy neighbour, not just religion

I walked to my usual evening chai place. A few casual Hi's, Smile exchanges and occasional conversations are a habit by now. Honestly its not always important conversations, a fair amount of male gossip also happens here (yes even men gossip!! Incase you thought otherwise ).
Yesterday the 'mahaul' seemed more serious than usual.
There was an issue. There were 3 types of people ( victims, concerned and pseudo-concerned population). The hotel didnt have enough chairs and the chai bhaiyya kept serving chai along with the 'garam' news and faked a concern After all this hot news was running his business more than the soggy cold bhajjis that were made probably 2 hours ago.
The “issue" (For my simple brain, there seemed to be none).
There was a ‘Hindu’ uncle whose ‘Hindu’ son married some ‘Christian’ Uncle’s 'Çhristian’ Daughter in Chennai.
Just remove the ‘Hindu’ and Çhristian’ from the above statement and read it. If you think, it reads normal then probably I ve made my point.
I wondered why people in that area made such an issue out of this, Then I remembered the huge outburst our countrymen made about Sania Mirza marrying a Pakistani. The key words there: Indian (Uncle+ Daughter) ≠ Pakistani (Uncle+ Daughter).


Monday, 11 August 2014

Some TIPS for the world/poor Indians (like us) by "INTELLECTUAL "Indians

Copyright: Fawaz Jaleel (incase THEY wanna take revenge)

Disclaimer: These are not my views. This is the thought process of a collective intellectual force that Unfortunately exists in this country. Incase you have any difference in opinion with THEM, they expect you to keep your mouth zipped and believe in THEIR intelligence.

1) Everybody ( Living, Dead, born in 2 BC and will be born in 2400) MUST recognise SACHIN TENDULKAR.

2) Never ever ever EVER EVER ever ever marry a PAKISTANI. Because according to THEM , A normal Pakistani wakes up in the morning, has tea and then dedicates her/his time on ideas to destroy India.

3) Boys will be Boys. Girls should learn to adjust because they are the "WEAKER SEX". Still Boys will be Boys. #strongersex.

4) 3 and 6 year olds get raped because they wear "skimpy" clothes. THEY vouch against 'BURQA/ABAYA' system but all women must wear clothes of that level. However if a Bollywood movie doesnt have an ITEM NUMBER, they ll not watch it. Hypocrisy? Whaaat?

5)
 Every child must have her/his own ambitions. However the options are a) Doctor
b) Engineer; else
c) Bad Factory outlet (ARTS, JOURNALISM, MUSIC etc.)
6) If somebody has Facebook Profiles /photos with people of the opposite sex, she/he is CHARACTERLESS. In case you didnt know, in India one must avoid such things and lie to everybody so that her/his relatives can boast about her/his "CLEAN"character.

7) INDIAN MEN WILL STARE. Now constitution guarantees 'FREEDOM of EXPRESSION. Now eyes are expressive. However this law doesn't apply to women because they are the "WEAKER" sex.

I have so many more of this . Incase you do , kindly inform so that we can fill in these recommendations to be amended in the Constitution.

P.S: When I am online, a GREEN bullet appears This doesn't mean I am a PAKISTANI. 
#justclarifying


Friday, 24 May 2013

An Outsider’s love at First Sight: MUMBAI




As my first day in Mumbai comes to an end, here I am standing at Mohammed Rafi Chowk showcasing a silent protest against the legendary Rafi sahib’s 1956 song that claimed

“Kahin building, kahin traame, kahin motor, kahin mill
Milta hain yahaan sab kuch , ek milta  nahi DIL
Insaan ka nahin kahin naam aur nishaan
Zara hat ke, zara bach ke, yeh hai Bombay meri jaan”

Translation
(Buildings, Trams, Motors and Mills.
You get everything here except a HEART
People don’t have a name or identity here
Keep away, keep safe , This is Bombay my dear)

At around 4:15 pm, I set my foot on Mumbai. A lot of Bollywood scenes went through my head in fast forward mode. I just reached the city of double-decker buses, yummy street food, capital of Bollywood, fast-paced life, extravagant culture, jam-packed local trains that are a norm, romantic locations, diabolical traffic, a city that never sleeps etc., in short the CITY OF DREAMS .  I looked outside and saw people. I turned my head towards the right and then left, there were people, a lot of people. Now that’s POPULATION EXPLOSION! I ve never felt the same in Kerala, Bangalore or even Chennai, always kept wondering where are all these people. Now I know the reason “EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE IN MUMBAI”. If Mumbai alone were to break away from India, its population would still be greater than Australia’s. Anyways, the human eye always finds what it wants and mine was quick enough to spot it. My heart just skipped a beat, body felt loose as if someone was pulling me towards it . There at one corner engulfed by people was a shop that sold ‘Vada Pav’. Adding to it, there were samosas, pav bhaji and much more, I ate all of it till my heart’s content.
My new roommate said he’ll reach the flat only by 7 pm that left me stranded on the streets of Mumbai with three huge sacks that had everything including memories of my wonderful friends. Where there is a problem, there must be a solution! What followed was one of the most successful deals, I had ever made in my life. After a fair amount of negotiation, an autowala promised to take me around the city (nearby places) for just Rs 150.  Now I had a place for my luggage while also exploring this astonishingly huge city.

You cannot ask for a better start when the first two places you saw in Mumbai were the Hanuman Mandir in Dadar and a 350 year old Dargah in Mahim, the oldest of its kind in Mumbai. This was followed by the Khodadad Circle that was formerly known as Dadar TT (Dadar Tram Terminus) in an age when there used to be a tram service in Bombay. This site illustrated an imposing colonial edifice just like Chatrapathi Sivaji Terminus. The next in line was a Portugese Church, a spiritual center that is an architectural beauty. God is omnipresent, he is everywhere be it Church, Mosque, temple or Gurudwara. Before entering the church, a passerby told me “Ask for anything with a pure heart and he will give it”.
After a while, we (Me and jatin bhai (autowala)) resumed our journey. Our chit-chat about Bombay continued. Jatin Bhai had come to Mumbai 23 years ago to receive his father’s body, which died in an accident. Ever since, Jatin Bhai is in Mumbai feeding his family and most importantly providing good education to his children. The places we visited might be low-profile compared to Mumbai’s status. But as they say “Every wonderful story has a humble beginning”. Actually “they” didn’t say that, it’s one of those random things that just popped up in my head right now. It’s one  of those typical adolescent things where you find a quote that relates to your life and adds a ’feel’ to it, and you just keep it as if you were born to do it. :P.  It was time to meet my flat mates and that put a halt to my journey for the time being. But technically my first day is not yet over; there is time till 4 pm the next day. I met my typical migrant Mumbaikar flatmates , and one word for them would be A=W=E=S=O=M=E. Not as Awesome as you Somesh, if you ever read this. We went out for dinner and they took me around a few places in Andheri.
In Bangalore, waking up early was an occasional exercise just to ensure we have breakfast atleast once a week. During M.C.C days, breakfast was just a myth. Despite crashing at 2 am , I was up and steady by 5:30 in the morning. This was new, but something dragged me for a morning walk. Socks rolled up, sneakers on! I set out to burn some calories. I have a feeling that 90% of the Gravitational force in India is concentrated in Mumbai. Scientifically impossible but this city just attracts you towards itself. There are three beautiful gardens near my place, one named after the brave Vijay Salaskar who sacrificed to save his fellow countrymen during the Mumbai attacks. After the unusual exercise, I made up my mind to cover the two much-hyped locations in Mumbai.
Every Nature lover must have a journey along this natural bay.  A friend told me that if there is any reason she would come to Bombay that would be Marine drive (actually one of the main reasons).  Lovers here, lovers there, lovers everywhere embracing each other with love, were taking long walks holding hands, staring at the sea probably imagining their long happy future or God Knows what! Lined with palm trees, known as the ‘Queen’s Necklace’, this place is surreal. The breeze at the place is so refreshing that on just don’t want to leave the place.
With the image of an amphitheatre placed above the ocean, Bandra Bandstand is a lover’s paradise. The self-proclaimed ‘king of love” , Shahrukh Khan’s not-So-humble abode “Mannat”is located very close to this romantic location and probably serves as an inspiration for his successful romantic run in Bollywood. Wait! The not-so-romantic Salman Khan also lives nearby. Well, anyways discussing their “looowee” story could be injurious to health.  Mumbai is filled with lovers embracing , kissing and holding each other. I ve heard similar stories about Paris and Venice.

Hence Mumbai is not just the “CITY OF DREAMS” , but also the “CITY OF LOVE ”. Anyways, here I am at Mohammed Rafi Chowk with my love , Vada Pav and a small message for Rafi Saheb.

Dear Rafi Saheb,
Yahaan dil hein, dilon mein pyaar bhi
Yahaan insaan ka naam hein aur voh kamaane ka dhariya bhi ,
Arey socho mat , daro mat . aayiye
Yeh hai MUMBAI meri jaan

Translation

This city has a heart filled with love
Here people have an identity earned by patience
Think not, Fear not. Just come
This is MUMBAI, my dear